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[ He already misses the contact, even if they are getting angry with each other now.

There's a comment about how taking it for ten years means she shouldn't have to anymore, that she's probably taken more than her share as it is and that he doesn't mind stepping in. He's had a pretty decent crash course, he feels like, and it goes against survival instincts, natural instincts, sentinel instincts, and just plainly what he wants to let her just get up and blindly protect him regardless of the situation. The headache and sensitivity he's been keeping at bay are blossoming over, but it doesn't stop him catching the quiet words.

And they're not fair. He understands them, because he could have just as easily said them to her, but that doesn't mean that he likes them at all. The comment he was preparing falls apart before he even draws the breath to say it, and he looks at her for a few more seconds before looking away instead, because he doesn't know what to say to that. The longer he doesn't know what to say to that, the more the fight ebbs back out of him, the more he thinks there probably isn't an answer for it, the more tired he feels all of a sudden. So it's a little while later that he replies, and it's not combative, nor resigned - he's just giving her information she might want. ] SHIELD's four minutes out. I can hear them coming.

[ She misses it almost immediately too, wants to touch him again for her own reassurance as well as his but can't because she doesn't know how to go back on her movement.

It's a comment that would have only brought out the same reaction from her as the one she just had, and that's that she can't. She cannot watch him be hurt without it tearing apart every preparation she has for pain, every ability to look at it clinically and remove herself from the situation. She's been through enough of it to know precisely the effect each blow has, knows intimately what pain comes from what, and the thought of him in that pain rattles the barriers of her mind the way the pain when it actually comes to her never manages to.

She stays looking away, no idea what to say next or how to follow up on that, how to explain what she means because there isn't any way to explain it without either sounding selfish or like she thinks he cares about her far less than she does about him. Only the first is true. She knows exactly how selfish it is in some respects to throw herself in front of someone else, knows that it's not remotely okay to do that to someone you care about, but she just - can't. ] Okay. [ And suddenly glancing back at him in concern. ] Your senses? How are they?

[ And he knows it didn't help that much, but it was why he antagonized them enough to be taken to another room entirely, so she wouldn't have to see it happen. Bit down on his shirt and lip and anything to muffle his own sounds when it was necessary or possible. He just wanted them away from her for a little bit. If he's not allowed to do things for her out of obligation, she's going to have a fucking hard time explaining to him how he's not immediately obligated to protect her or take a turn for her if she's going to try and get up every single time so that he doesn't get hurt. He doesn't see how that's even remotely fair, and too much of that and he'll start to chafe and bristle until he rebels altogether.

When she looks back over, he's tense. He's trying not to look like it, but he's more or less vibrating, just a little, it's hard to notice it. He's completely silent - you'd only know he's breathing because his ribs are moving like he is. But he's zoning out and pulling in and trying to respond to her to keep her from worrying, because that's what started this, isn't it? He comes out of it a little bit, blinks a few times and looks a little less glazed, because she's making him interact with her again. ] They're fine. They'll be fine until we get home. Two minutes twelve.

[ The worst part is easily that she knows what he was thinking, knows that she would have done the exact same thing if he hadn't been better at it, if she hadn't been dizzy and disconnected too much to realize what he was doing in time to head him off and make them not care about him.

She would have done exactly the same thing. Wanted to do the same thing. She knows exactly how hypocritical she's being right now and that his frustration with her is reasonable, it's just that every time she tries to be reasonable in turn about it she thinks about him in pain and every part of her balks and refuses to cooperate with anything that allows that. She's accustomed to the idea of being hurt herself, desensitized to it being something worth much consideration, but he's an entirely different matter.

And he doesn't look really good right now, and definitely not like he's actually fine. Very much not like he's actually fine, and she pauses and watches him more closely, brushes against his mind in search of permission to help. ] Tony.

[ He shakes his head a little, against the din and the lights and the smells and the taste of the city in his mouth and in his lungs and under his eyelids. It does nothing for the headache, but it pushes things back a little more. He'd been distracted by their conversation, hadn't had much reserve to keep everything at bay anyway. It's a little late to be helping, a little inevitable in the first place, really, for anything like that, but when he looks at her again this time there's no trace of the irritation or actual anger that was present in the conversation they just had. His eyes are a little unfocused but that might just be because everything is so crystal sharp right now, it hurts to look at it all. ] Sorry.

[ She just looks tired when she meets his gaze again, weary and a little sad rather than anything angry. She's mad at herself for fighting with him rather than helping, doesn't know what to do with him apologizing and she's not even sure what he's apologizing for, just doesn't want him to. She's just - tired. ] Don't. Please. [ Don't try to say he's sorry for anything, because he shouldn't be. Shouldn't feel like he needs to be. She's too worn out to do a great deal, but she can provide some small help to his senses. Hopefully at least keep the worst out. ]

Nothing's your fault.

[ He can mostly see that expression but he's getting distant again. ] Thirty-four seconds. [ Although by this point, he thinks she should probably be able to hear them too, maybe. He has no idea. He won't apologize again - even for apologizing in the first place when she apparently didn't want it. And who knows what it was for. Maybe for arguing so closely to an experience that clearly rattled them both. Maybe for having taunted their kidnappers and worrying her to begin with. Maybe for the way he's pretty sure he's about to retreat into himself and away from the rest of the painful, overstimulating world.

That pulls him back a little bit though. Enough to snort a small amount of amusement. Lots of things are his fault. Maybe not this time, in this specific instance, but still. Lots of things. ]

[ And that's her fault, in a lot of ways, and maybe in a little bit she'll know what to do with that and how to try to fix it but right now she doesn't. She can accept she's fucked up until it hurts people she cares about, and then she doesn't know how to stop. ] Just tell me if you - [ Who's she kidding? He's not going to ask for help, most likely, he doesn't tend to. And right now it's even less likely, she's pretty sure. ]

Please tell me if I can help. [ She doesn't like that laugh, she doesn't like the distance in his eyes, and she wants to start this all over again and, you know, actually, if she could go back to before people started hitting him and her too, that would be good. She's actually really tired of people hitting her, which might sound like something she should have realized a long time ago but it's been a while since being tired of it occurred to her as a possibility. Right now, what she wants is for him to be okay, to sleep for about ten hours, and to not feel like someone tried to turn her into soup, in that order. ] Need a hand up?

[ It is less likely but not because he's mad at her or anything, just because there's honestly not a whole lot he thinks she can do. But he nods a little bit, more acknowledgement than anything else. He's running on lots of instincts now, giving over to them more than to conscious thought, which is probably why his shield over her suddenly starts to grow. Forethought for the care and worry from the SHIELD personnel, for the chaos that will be whatever treatment center they wind up in, and to a degree from the numbness that's going to come from his side of whatever connections they do have. It's a good shield, doesn't take much from him to make, and even while it's going up, he reaches to grab her hand and stand up to move. ]

[ Every time he thinks that she still manages to be able to do at least something. One of these days she's going to convince him that he should just tell her regardless and see.

She can feel his shield going up, blinks and then nods slowly at him in thanks, presses the thought of it against his mind because she's more and more tired of talking as the moments go by, and then throws up her own as well, double blocking as the helicopters touch down and people move out, a few coming to meet them and usher them onboard, Max not letting go of at least one hand on Tony at all moments, putting herself between him and anyone else's touch even if she's too tired to talk or do much of anything else. ]

[ Yes, well. Maybe he likes letting her surprise him. Maybe he doesn't like needing as much help as he feels like he does, or doesn't want the potential of her somehow getting lost too. He's not even sure if that's how it works, but damn if he doesn't like the thought of risking it regardless.

But he's not so far that he doesn't feel her thanks, feel her adding to it in turn. The agents aren't unaccustomed to this - by now from them specifically, and a few of them are understanding enough of the protocols between guides and sentinels to be mindful regardless. Tony, for his part, isn't letting go of her either, leans a little in towards her as they ride back. None of the medics seem particularly pleased about letting them just stay there for the duration of the relatively short ride, but there's not a whole lot they can do about it just yet. However, once the helicopters land and agents start to disembark, turning back around to help them both off, there's a slightly different story at hand. ]

[ But she doesn't want him to suffer in silence on the off chance that she could get hurt. She's a big girl, she'll do what she wants and what she wants is to help him if he needs it. What she wants is to do what she can, but sometimes he makes it very difficult.

She stays leaning close towards him the whole ride, trying to breathe, not quite touching in any respects but her hand in his because she's not sure how touch sensitive he is right now and she knows he's bruised. She doesn't want to do anything to hurt him further, but her entire body is angled towards him, almost close enough to touch but not quite Today has been long, and unpleasant, and she's fairly certain it'll have pushed her nightmares back to something regular for a little bit, and the fact that she hasn't freaked out yet is due entirely to first the need to keep him safe and then his presence.

Which makes the medics first attempt to touch her result mostly in one of them coming very close to a broken wrist, her turning to watch as the fingers of her free hand tighten around Tony's hand. ] No. [ And that's all she's saying for now, letting go of the medic's wrist but still watching. She's not okay with people touching her right now. ]

[ Well, it's the same principle she's put into play with the 'you should let me take all the punches to protect you from them because I can better handle it', so she can either acknowledge the hypocrisy or she can shut it.

He wouldn't mind her touching him, too much. He's in a weird state where even the air is starting to become a little prickly, but she is okay. She's soothing, smoothing, and while her touch, even as it stands now, around his hand, is burning him, he doesn't mind, because it's okay.

But by the time they are landing, he's firmly within his own mind, fully retreated and acting on instinct only, responsive to her touch and to being directed to this place or the other. Any pain from contact is brushed down, barely recognized unless the pain is something intentional, like a cut, a prick, or the like, at which point he will retaliate, abruptly and without mercy. It is the ultimate defensive stance, defensive entirely, but by rote of preventing the need for further defensive measures.

No one has touched him yet, because they're aware of the sensitivity but unsure as of yet how it works. But they're touching her, and through the connection he can feel that, that she doesn't like it, isn't ready for it. So he stands, moves slowly, without letting go of her at all, because she is the anchor, she is keeping him grounded, and it's her mind that reminds his own that these are friendlies, that these people are trying to help, even if that help is unwanted right now. Without that contact, he would simply destroy them.

Moving slowly, but with her, looking at her with unfocused eyes - all the motions, but nobody's home - helping her to get off the helicopter without too much worry. He hopes. Sort of. In as much as he's hoping right now at all. ]

[ She will acknowledge her total hypocrisy all day long if that's what will get him to let her take the hits and help him. It's okay, she knows that, she just - it's not that she couldn't live without him, because if she knows anything about herself it's that life goes on and she goes with it and she's not dramatic enough to think that any one person holds the only meaning in life. But if there was ever a choice between him and her, for her it wouldn't even be a choice. He matters too much.

She can't monitor his mind very well right now, but generally he's good about letting her know what's okay and what isn't in regards to touch, so she feels okay enough keeping her hand around his and her other touching him at moments to guide him along the way as necessary, flinching away from anyone else offering assistance and using him in some respects as a shield because they won't try to touch him, they at least know better than that.

The problem with being off the helicopter is that the next step is medical attention of some kind, being whisked into the building of whatever hospital it is they've been taken to. Probably the SHIELD one. And she still doesn't really want people touching her, or trying to separate her from him, or any of this. He's scaring her a little, with how absent he's becoming from his own body, with how little power she has at the moment to try to pull him back aside from just drop her shields and let his cover her as she leaves her mind open to his, weary and exhausted and concerned and desperate with need for him to be okay. She can't separate anything out right now, can only be there and keep moving towards the general area they're being shepherded to while trying to dodge concerned hands. ]

[ I doubt that will work either but it's worth a shot. It might work - it's more likely to than any of the arguments she gave him earlier, with the exception of the 'if you died i might turn into an extreme hoarders' aspect of I need you that he in turn employs directly back with her. He's the same way with her that she is with him - and in some respects it works for them. When they're all but tripping over their own swords for the other, though, there tend to be some issues.

Right now it's just autopilot until they can stop moving, because he wouldn't be able to function right now otherwise. Neither one of them is functioning very well right now at all, and if she was taking care of them on the roof and on the ride, then he's doing it at least for the duration of this walk to whatever nice, dim, quiet room is waiting them beyond the din and bustle of their arrival.

He can, at the very least, tell that she doesn't want to be touched - really anyone who looks at her probably could - and he holds her closer to himself, stares at anyone who gets too close to her, and more or less they back off. SHIELD medical is attentive and pushy, being overused to people who attempt to shrug off medical care when they actually do need it, but they're not stupid, and after a while someone with enough authority and sense orders them to be left alone by the majority and leads them to indeed that dim and quiet room. There, she does indicate that they need at least to be checked for immediate injuries, things that could require urgent attention within the next few hours, but that it would be another guide who came in to do so and that after that, they would be left to themselves to recover. ]

[ Well, that would certainly be a unique way of telling her that he needed her. It would probably work, though, in terms of convincing her, just because she has a tendency to believe him when he says things. The main problem seems to simply be their refusal to talk it over clearly.

Neither one of them is being very good at functionality at all. She's not fracturing and she's not anywhere near broken, but she's just very very tired and she wants time and space to shut down persistent memories and remember where she is and that she's okay, and this is not a place designed to give her that even if intellectually she can realize that medical care is a good idea.

But he's helping, if the staff isn't really helping at all, and she thinks she murmurs a thank you to him somewhere halfway down the halls but if she does she's not entirely certain of it, looks up at him when she sits down abruptly on the cot offered her and feels the need to say it again .] Thank you. I'm sorry. [ Before anyone else comes in to interrupt them again, before she has to lock down all her shields again because they are sending in an empath and she's not letting any such person have any chance at reading her mind at all. ]

[ Not talking about it will certainly make it difficult to squeeze that into conversation, yes.

He'll feel bad later for having effectively left her alone like this, even if he can rationalize it with the protection aspect until it won't be that noticeable.

She could probably have objected to the empath, asked them to send another sentinel instead, it's just that typically people are less objectionable to one over the other, or they prefer their own kind since they're used to it, or for the simple fact that an empath around people who are clearly not doing so well on a non-physical level can be more helpful. The sentinel would be able to more quickly discern injuries, but the empath can help calm things down. Of course, that totally doesn't work when it's the mind that you're more wrapped up in, but. Protocols.

He's not ready to sit down just yet, because there's too much movement and commotion outside the door, even if it's quiet and isolated in here, and she's still off-kilter and he still doesn't feel safe. So he's standing, watching the door more or less, listening to one string of sounds for a few minutes here and there and switching to another once the first is deemed nonthreatening. When she talks though, he looks over at her for a few seconds. He doesn't give her much by way of response, but he did hear what she said. It's just a few seconds though, and then he moves back to keep watch.

The empath who comes in is nice - quiet, calm, keeping his thoughts to himself but trying to project calmness and other things like that, things that should be what they need right now. His manner is effectively what one would expect from an orderly or a nurse, or someone used to handling people who happen to be in shock. After it's confirmed that neither of them have anything immediately life-threatening, he leaves some water and shows her how to call for help or anything they need and leaves again as long as she doesn't have anything she wants to ask. ]

[ Conversations about important things, how does that work? Certainly not like this, because she's watching him and he's watching nothing and listening to everything, he's just not answering and she's already apologized once. She's not doing that again. Mostly because she's not sure she can, really, when if the same situation presented itself again her reaction would probably mostly be exactly the same, if she'd try to avoid the part where she got mad at him immediately afterwards.

She doesn't particularly feel like talking to anyone right now except maybe Tony, if she thinks she can do that without fucking things up further. She really, really doesn't want to fuck things up further. But an empath is understandable, she just refuses to let anyone see any part of her mind but Tony. Nobody else gets that sort of insight to her, and the moment she can feel the Guide coming in she effectively shuts down, shields like a vise cutting her off completely. She can tell the Guide knows what she's doing, doesn't approve, but she's letting him investigate her injuries. Or at least staying rigidly and absolutely still as he checks, but that counts, right. That's enough.

Finally he leaves, and Max breathes out for what feels like the first time in a while. She's been watching Tony the whole time, and her gaze stays fixed on him because she needs to know that he's here and relatively okay. That's important. That's really the only important thing, now. There's silence for a long moment, and then she stands up and picks up a glass, fills it with water and offers it to him, not saying anything. She's not really sure there's anything to say. ]

[ He heard her the first time anyway; asking her to repeat herself beyond that would just be reaching, and likely for something that isn't there.

Tony is similarly cooperative as he's looked over for injuries, standing still, letting himself be sat down on the edge of his own cot to be properly looked over. While his shields are up and on full alert, they're directed more towards her than himself right now, since he doesn't have anything remarkable at the moment to keep hidden. It's half and half that any Guide not used to interacting with him right now wouldn't get past the sensory overload in the first place. But he, too, is deemed out of immediate danger, and the Guide points to the blankets in the room to make sure he knows where they are in case the texture of the cot bothers him in a little while.

Back alone, and he finally starts to feel safe again. He takes the glass of water from her, watching the surface of it shiver slightly in his hand. After a few seconds, he moves a little, sitting down on the cot again. The shield over both of them wavers slightly as he starts to calm down in earnest, starts to come back to himself. He starts to try and talk, stops to clear his throat. ] Are- You okay?

[ The comedown's going to be unpleasant. That's the first thing she's really aware of thinking, when the Guide points out the blankets, the first thought that's crossed her mind in a bit that she's had any conscious effort towards, and she turns to pick one up almost automatically after he takes the glass of water, turning it over and over in her hands. What now?

The question takes her a little by surprise, turning to look at him blankly. ] Sure. [ It's a lie, the response that comes most naturally to her, but a moment later she zones back in a little more fully, shakes her head. She doesn't like lying to him. She's not supposed to lie to him, she told herself she wouldn't a long time ago. (Omitting the truth is different.) ] I will be. [ A shrug, not quite as nonchalant as she'd like to be able to pull off. ] Might take a little bit, but. How are you?

[ At the moment he still doesn't seem like he's paying a whole lot of attention to any one thing at a time, but that doesn't mean he wasn't annoyed and then grateful for the way she instinctively replied and then corrected herself. The surface of the water is still what he's looking at, mostly, even after he sips from it. He sort of makes a face, even if it's a slight one, afterward, and sets it down on the floor by the leg of the cot. Maybe he'll try it again in a little while.

He takes a few seconds even after that to reply, and when he does it's fairly simple, given with little affect. ] Worried. [ He doesn't like the comedown, doesn't like doing it himself or watching her do it in her respect. He never knows quite how it's going to go, how long it'll last, how deep it will be. ]

[ It's hard sometimes to shake old habits, but for him she's actually willing to put in an effort and that's - well, it's certainly something. She's not willing to evaluate that right now, nor has she ever really been.

But at that answer she looks at him a little closer, moves over towards him and leans her forward against his, resting her hands as lightly as she can on his knees. ] We're good at this. It'll be okay. [ Soft and quiet, and if she's not entirely sure how okay it's going to be none of that doubt is in her voice. ]

[ He doesn't back away from the contact, but he's not moving into it either. It's unclear whether it's because it's uncomfortable already or if he just hasn't shaken the distance his mind put between itself and the rest of him enough yet. ] We're not both usually doing it at the same time though.

[ She's just going to stay here for the moment, until he informs her that it's not okay or he needs space or her not to be touching him or something, because normally this is helpful to both of them. ] Do you trust me? [ Not answering that directly yet, because there's no way to directly address that that doesn't sound pretty pessimistic really. He's right, they usually aren't, and they're going to compound each others problems right now.

What she should do is go and let them both recuperate without the distraction of each other, probably. But the thought of not being able to be certain of his presence is at best massively unsettling. ]

[ Well that's a stupid question. ] Of course. [ It doesn't really change the fact that they're both going to come down at the same time and his control over his shields is going to be minimalist at best and her control isn't going to be much better and the ambient sounds, noises, smells, &c. are going to drive his emotional state up the wall and her emotional state won't be able to take it and she'll have to stay away or try and force him to handle it and they really ought to be separated if they're both going to have this problem. They ought be given a different Guide and Sentinel respectively until they can get through the worst of it. It'll be uncomfortable, but it'll be better than what they're about to try and do on their own. ]

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this setup got complicated quickly

they are exceptionally complicated people

THEY ARE god they're ridiculous; also i hope this is cool idk

so fucking ridiculous i can't even and yes it totally is

\o/

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