max | nyx (
motherofnemesis) wrote2036-10-21 05:33 pm
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ic contact
"This is Max, leave a name and number and tell me what you want.
I may or may not get back to you."
[ leave a message, call her, come drop by her apartment. ]
I may or may not get back to you."
[ leave a message, call her, come drop by her apartment. ]
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[ Even if she won't let him in, it doesn't mean he can't still extend himself around her, try and alleviate the pressure at least, give her shields a little bit of a break. ]
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But at that she blinks up at him, confused, shakes her head a little. ] Said I was going to get the Guide for you. Not me. [ She can hold onto his hand, she'll allow that, and her grip might be a little tighter than she intends but she loosens it after a moment, remembers he's probably still sensitive. ] Are you okay? [ She can focus on that, on the slight relief his additional support is adding if she's not comfortable yet with the idea of letting him see the mess her mind currently is. She generally has it together when he's in her mind. ]
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I'm fine. [ Which is more or less (my god i use this phrase a lot suddenly) the truth. He is fine, right now, he's got everything at the very least within upper-but-manageable levels. He won't be fine in a little while, but that's not something he needs to divulge. That'll probably become obvious when it happens. ]
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Sorry. I can do this, it's okay. [ What exactly she's trying to tell him there isn't really very clear, but it's somewhere between he doesn't have to stay and that it won't be too long until she can at least fake it enough to fool him and keep her going until she can sleep some of it off. ]
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Okay. [ It's just that simple word and she opens up a little bit, lets him into the parts of her mind that she's started locking down, things packed back under lock and key where they belong. The rest of it is still nearby and heavy in its presence, but she's not willing to let him into it. Not the worst of things, because he can't sort it out for her and therefore he doesn't need to be exposed to it. His presence alone is helping more than she had thought possible, really. ] You're already helping, though.
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He waits while she deliberates, just continuing what he was already doing and trying to brace himself in the chance she agrees, work out what he'll do and how okay he'll be if she refuses again. But when she does, when she opens up even that little bit and lets him in, he's an oddly calm presence soaking into the spaces she's left open. If she were in his mind - and he doesn't know if she can sense it right now regardless, since they're so close and she seems so hyperaware right now - it wouldn't be this calm. It would be frenetic, jostled and bustling, a little buzz like electricity and the slight sense of uncomfortable potential shock as a result. That's really nothing too out of the ordinary - it's usually at least the first three anyway. But this is one area he's oddly good at compartmentalizing for, projecting or producing one outward idea while possessing a different internal one. A lifetime of interviews - he can't school his face as well as he probably ought to, but he can direct his energy. ]
Yeah, you know me. Gotta be proactive. Hands-on.
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The rest of his mind is there too, and it might have been overwhelming in the bustle of it but she's concentrating on the calm he's providing, taking it and centering herself around it as her breathing slows to something more even and modulated. It's surprisingly effective, an anchor in a storm and maybe she should have expected that, should have just said yes right away, but she didn't want him to have to do this for her. ] 'm sorry. [ Mumbled against his shoulder as she drinks up everything he's giving her, takes the respite to slam things back under lock and key where they belong. ] I'll take a shower. Clean off the blood. Just a minute.
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She seems a little more coherent, a little bit better, but he isn't going to let up what he's doing until she actually tells him she doesn't need it anymore, and when he stops he can tell that she's telling the truth. Until all of those stipulations are met and satisfied, he is going to keep doing as much as he can for her, as much as she'll accept, and he'll hold her in return as much as she'll allow. ] Whenever you want to. I've smelled worse. [ Technically. This is worse in terms of the context, but he's smelled worse in terms of sheer odor. ]
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A very shaky some kind of laugh at that and she shakes her head slowly. Very slowly, that's an unpleasant sensation. But the grip of her hand is turning into something more regulated, not loose because she's forced it to be but a more normal looseness of consideration for his senses, and the extent of what she's letting him see is spreading as she uses the calm he's giving her to settle things away for dealing with much, much later. ] You're not doing a very good job of being mad at me.
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He's also not going to say anything one way or the other about her grip loosening, because it did hurt, and he's glad she's letting up, but if she needs to hod tightly onto him, he's not going to refuse her the right. But as she lets him see more, he spreads his influence, touching what he can, surrounding what he's not allowed to see with bubbles that hopefully at least abate some of the sensitivity, some of the pain. He doesn't think that whatever it is that he's doing here - because this is all instinctual, and rationaled; he has no idea what he's actually doing right now - is going to be a permanent nor even the solution. She won't be fixed until later, nor will he. But they can at least both aim for functional right now. That'll be plenty. ]
I'm saving it for later. Getting angry with you now defeats the point.
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It's been so long since she's had a Sentinel to do this with that she'd entirely forgotten how surprisingly effective they could be, despite the lack of empathy except as relates to Guides. It's seemed like the natural choice for a long time, to isolate herself and do it alone, but right now she's having to rethink that a little because the anchor of his mind and the intent he's putting behind this is working. She can do functional. With him, she can at least hit functional. And that'll be enough for now. ]
Generous of you. I'm - I'm good to move. [ And she means it. There's a lot still to fix, but if he's still nearby she'll be all right to move somewhere more comfortable for him, be able to keep it together and also keep working on fixing this. Maybe soon she'll be able to check his mind, see how well he's been patched up, see if she can't give him something in return. Maybe. ]
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Honestly he's sort of surprised whatever he did worked. He doesn't know if that was instinct or intuition or intimate knowledge of her being, but he's glad that it did work. He'd just like to know the how of the whole thing for later. ]
Because I'm okay, we can stay here a little while longer until you're more secure, if you need it. [ Rebounding and perpetuating the same cycles over and over again doesn't seem like a great idea. Get at least one of them in good shape and then the other can follow. ]
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She's a little surprised herself, that he figured out some way to help her so well, but then he does know her very well, and she has become very used to using his presence as an anchor of sorts. It was easy to seize on the feeling of his presence again, and then he'd worked at it, and it was really helpful. ]
I don't know. Maybe. It can't be comfortable out here for you. [ Mumbled a little against his shirt, and he's changed, they gave him Sentinel clothes, that's nice. That's good, she should go get changed too and clean up and wear something it doesn't hurt him to touch, so that she's not bothering him. ] I think I'm good to move.
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It's probably the combination of knowing her well and a natural ability to fix things. Not that she needs fixing, but simply that the process is somewhat similar, in the manner by which he approaches most obstacles. But regardless of how it worked, he's happy that it did.
He shifts a little bit, because it's... not, but he's still pretty sure he's in better shape than she is right now. ] It's not that bad. I've had worse. [ Which is a fairly horrible attempt at levity, but. It has the benefit of at least being true. He would prefer to be inside though, with her cleaned up and any potential injuries seen to. He is himself bandaged up, and he's not totally happy about the way the adhesive tugs at his skin with certain movements, the elastic in the wrapping, but it's on the way to feeling better and for the moment he doesn't have the energy to be the poor patient his temperament would prefer. ] We're just gonna stand up then, okay? Let me know if you're not good.
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Right now she wouldn't really mind him calling it fixing her. It's a phrasing that normally she finds really repugnant, just because of the connotations to it, the way it tends to make her feel a little less human, a lot more like a resource that needs protecting. With him it's different. He's trying to help because he cares about her. With him fixing is a positive thing, something she can accept right now easily. ]
Don't remind me. [ She didn't handle this relatively short happening very well, if she thinks about him having had worse right now she's going to want to kill people again. He is probably in better shape than her, but she's okay to be around people a little, she thinks. Enough to get pulled together physically, and then she won't be bothering him just by her presence, and showering will give her a little bit longer to gather herself and then she'll be with him and they'll be able to help each other. It's all going to be fine. She nods, doesn't try to respond to that out loud because she's concentrating on hauling herself up with his help, stumbling a little but overall okay. Her hands spread out for a moment, to demonstrate that she's more or less stable on her feet, but return to him almost immediately. ] I'm still good.
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He stands up with her, slowly, at her own pace, because he's not really having too many problems with movement right now and the slow is okay. He waits for her to get to her feet, to steady herself and test standing without him, to come back and grab a hold of him and then tell him that she's okay. She's still okay, and his senses - he still can't completely turn them off, there's a buzzing under his skin, behind his eyes - indicate that this is the truth. He believed her anyway, but the subconscious affirmation is nice to have regardless.
But he lets her hold on to him however is best for her, whether that's holding on to his arm or with his arm around her shoulders, or what, and slowly starts to take them back down to their current room. She still needs to be checked for injuries, although he's sort of doing that as they go. If she doesn't have any, they can be switched to one of the overnight rooms the agents stay in. Just the pair of them, but it's isolated, quiet, soft, and would be just the two of them and whomever happens to be sleeping nearby. He'd prefer it, but she needs to be okay first. Really okay, not whatever kind of medium okay this happens to be at the moment. ]
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Right now lying is still the thing that comes first to her, most easily, but she knows telling the truth with him is important, even if right now she couldn't articulate precisely why it's so important. Just that he trusts her, and therefore she has to tell the truth. So she's only saying things she means, and if she's not great she is at least all right enough to go downstairs, supported in fair part by his arm around her shoulders and her arm around his waist.
There's nothing spectacularly wrong with her, or at least nothing she would consider particularly bad. The gunshot graze on her arm and the cut on her face from that last strike with the pistol she'd incited are the worst of it, really, everything else just bruising. It hurts, but it's nothing that needs more than cleaning in her opinion. But she supposes those two things do need to be sorted out, especially as she's just left them more or less exposed for hours. ] Don't go? [ A quiet request as they near the room where she knows the nurses are waiting to check her over, because she's better and people aren't going to crush her but she still - she wants him near. She's never liked hospitals much at all. ]
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He holds her a little tighter when she speaks, because he wouldn't dream of it. He's not going anywhere right now. He firms up the shield around her a little bit more, just ekes out a tiny bit more of his own strength to do it, and stays where she wants him while the nurses gently approach her for the check-up and once-over. ]
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That she breathes out a sigh of relief to, starts pulling her clothes off so she can change into the outfit they've left for her, similar to his. ] How are you doing? [ The lights are dimmed, the room is pretty sterile, hopefully in here will be easier on his senses. It feels strange to not be able to check as casually as she normally does, but she's keeping any contact between their minds pretty dampened right now, trying to ensure she's not leaking anything damaging. ]
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But she checks out, and he's pleased, if quietly, reservedly, the way that only the truly exhausted can be - wholeheartedly and nothing physical to represent it anyway. He stays by the door a little while as she starts to change - somehow dressing for ... whatever reasons these are - it's different than normal. He just feels like giving her space. (Or maybe that's the thing, the space, and it's not the dressing at all that bothers him.) He doesn't know how close he can be with her right now, doesn't know how close she can be with him, now that neither of them is in crisis and both of them are still on the ledge of it and he means all of this in both directions, how well each of them can legitimately tolerate the other. He knows, he does, that for all of his grounding and physicality, that he is a very emotional person, it's simply that his emotions run deep into underground caverns and pool there, still and calm until something cuts him close enough to the core to puncture whatever field is holding them in place and they come out everywhere, sudden and in force and drenching anyone unfortunate enough to be near. ]
I'm fine. Tired. Room's a little easier to handle than the roof.
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She should probably take a shower right now too, but for the moment it's easier to just clean herself off some with a damp towel before buttoning things up and looking around again, double checking that she knows where he is before she sits down on the bed, still watching him. He said he was going to be mad at her later, but she's not sure if this is the later or if they both should just sleep for a while and then they can be mad, or - what. Everything's a little fuzzy right now. Maybe they should just sleep. She holds her hand out a little, nods at the bed. ]
That's good. You should come rest, probably. If we both sleep for a little bit it might help.
[ It might. She's not entirely sure here of what the best path is, just knows that whatever it is she wants to be able to help him through it and she's not going to be able to do that without some rest, a little longer to patch things up in her head. This whole situation sucks, but they'll come out the other side all right, won't they? She has to believe that. ]
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For a couple of moments, he glances between her and the bed, apparently weighing the odds and determining factors. The process cuts out halfway through though, and he just shuffles forward to take her hand. They're usually better together - he doesn't see why now should be any different. They've been apart long enough, recently, and it never seems to go very well. ]
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They are better together. It's one of the few things that she knows for certain, of late, and she thinks it still holds now. She holds onto his hand carefully, lightly, trying to make sure she's not pushing any sensitivities, and just looks up at him for a long moment, searching his face as if between that and his hand in hers she can be absolutely certain he's here. ] Thank you for coming to find me.
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But first, he moves their hands up to his shoulder, bringing her closer in the process, leaves hers there as he lets his hand fall to join the other in the hug it initiated by tugging her towards him. Arms around her, under her arms, he holds her close but not too tight, just securely, rests his chin on her shoulder a little, like you do. ] Thank you for getting us out.
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