[ She misses it almost immediately too, wants to touch him again for her own reassurance as well as his but can't because she doesn't know how to go back on her movement.
It's a comment that would have only brought out the same reaction from her as the one she just had, and that's that she can't. She cannot watch him be hurt without it tearing apart every preparation she has for pain, every ability to look at it clinically and remove herself from the situation. She's been through enough of it to know precisely the effect each blow has, knows intimately what pain comes from what, and the thought of him in that pain rattles the barriers of her mind the way the pain when it actually comes to her never manages to.
She stays looking away, no idea what to say next or how to follow up on that, how to explain what she means because there isn't any way to explain it without either sounding selfish or like she thinks he cares about her far less than she does about him. Only the first is true. She knows exactly how selfish it is in some respects to throw herself in front of someone else, knows that it's not remotely okay to do that to someone you care about, but she just - can't. ] Okay. [ And suddenly glancing back at him in concern. ] Your senses? How are they?
no subject
It's a comment that would have only brought out the same reaction from her as the one she just had, and that's that she can't. She cannot watch him be hurt without it tearing apart every preparation she has for pain, every ability to look at it clinically and remove herself from the situation. She's been through enough of it to know precisely the effect each blow has, knows intimately what pain comes from what, and the thought of him in that pain rattles the barriers of her mind the way the pain when it actually comes to her never manages to.
She stays looking away, no idea what to say next or how to follow up on that, how to explain what she means because there isn't any way to explain it without either sounding selfish or like she thinks he cares about her far less than she does about him. Only the first is true. She knows exactly how selfish it is in some respects to throw herself in front of someone else, knows that it's not remotely okay to do that to someone you care about, but she just - can't. ] Okay. [ And suddenly glancing back at him in concern. ] Your senses? How are they?